Of Pecs, Packs & Poles: In honor of all those new year resolutions!

If I hear the phrase “men are visual” one more time — as if women are not — I’m going to scream!

Growing up, how many of us women can remember hearing their grandmothers, great grandmothers or “big Mommas” say, “baby, better think about how it’s goin’  be lookin’ at that man in the morning across the breakfast table. Think about the kids.”

In other words, God don’t like ugly, so don’t bring no ugly home.

In his bestselling book, “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man,” Steve Harvey talks about the importance for a woman to always look her best for her man, which I agree with. Yet it should be understood that the man needs to do the same for his woman.

Mutual attraction maintenance is just that: mutual. Women appreciate a good presentation, or to use Harvey’s phrase, “a shiny penny” too.

So many of our male celebrities have their own brand of clothing or cologne that it seems you haven’t really made it until you too have the latest fashion line. Yet, the pressure is only on us women to satisfy that most fickle of appetites: the male imagination. Men talk about women and their “list” of perfection that a man must fit into, but men have them for women too (too short, too tall, too light, too dark, too old). It all becomes just too much and too often is just used as an excuse not to look at their own reflection of self.

Why is it that even the most out-of-shape, no-exercising, beer-drinking, can’t-see-or-touch-his-toes, hygiene-challenged man will demand that his woman be in shape, smell good even after working out, and entertain him with the latest acrobatic-pole-dancing tricks while twirling a hula hoop on one leg!

OK, I’m exaggerating just a bit, but you get the visual.

I say let’s get back to the basics. Listen women, it’s time to tell that man, “Baby, if you want me in shape (which all women should do for themselves anyway), then you better be bringing not just a six-pack but packing some stamina and good circulation to go along with it!”

Men, speaking of hygiene, if you want to be touched, massaged and kissed from head to toe, then please, please wash from head to toe, including those ears.

So men, take your woman by the hand and go for a walk; a dip in the pool; bike to the beach; take a yoga, tai chi or dance class; or go roller skating to some “oldies but goodies.” And men, speaking of goodies, (or the “cookie” as Harvey refers to in his book), try a double yoga class together, it my lead into some tantra yoga if you play your cards right!

Let’s put the “play” back in our workouts while encouraging each other’s fitness goals. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Pillow fights and laughing can burn calories and build up the immune system too!

To all those fine and fit brothas out there handling their health and hygiene business, I say keep up the good work, and I’ll see you at the Jacuzzi!

Tricia Alkmia Cochée is a freelance writer, arts media producer and Brazilian and North African dancer.

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4 Responses to Of Pecs, Packs & Poles: In honor of all those new year resolutions!

  1. C. J. Woods says:


    Wonderful moments of memory for me when reading you piece. You were candid and called us to task. Hygiene and healthy applications are foremost.

    Before I have my man go head to toe (usually he goes up; reverse order), I prepare the route with uexpecteds as peppermint, berries and such in areas that lead him to warm bosom and moist awaiting lips. That’s if I don’t want that natural man essence.
    Sometimes, no fragrance is required!

    You hit the nail on the head with your article. Love and romance require partnership, appreciation and taking care of each other. Don’t forget before all that exercise, washing, play and chistry lead to “cookies, cakes or pies”………..I want to touch, smell and see latex!!!

    Love ya!


    • Thank you CJ! The idea to write this piece came after overhearing men speaking and rating women (this one is classy, this one is that but she does this, etc ,etc), the list is endless! I wanted to say to those brothas, “have you taken a look in the mirror”! And no doubt women have their lists too! I talk about that, we all have our lists! But in having our lists we need to make sure we take a long look in the mirror at ourselves ’cause you can bet someone is rating us too!

  2. Trudy Goodwin says:

    You’re on target Tricia! Have you noticed that movies and television shows often cast obese men with sleek women? It’s time for everyone to step forward for better health. Thanks for upping the bar for us all.

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